I sometimes think to myself I must have no problems as my behaviour concerns me so much, am I right in thinking this?

I want help but I can't bring myself to go to my doctor I'm so embarrassed and constantly feel ashamed of myself.

For the past year or so I've distanced myself from everyone and started to sleep excessively. When I know I have spare time this time is for sleep, nothing else. I don't see any of my friends anymore and have stopped speaking to most of my family which I know they all resent me for. When I do bring myself to see friends and go out I find myself binge drinking which then causes me to feel guilt and shame the day after where I will break down and feel disgusted with myself.
I have thoughts which I cant explain as they are so horrible and sick and sometimes I will even scare myself. I know something isn't right and I just want to know if anyone feels the same???? can ANYBODY relate??