Thank you Newtus and Atypical for your kind comments, and everyone else for the hugs. I was scared to post these, because the only other person I've showed some of my poems to before was my Mum and she wasn't very interested, so I felt like they weren't any good... IDKY I posted them, other than they express how I feel right now.

I feel like I'm stuck in limbo. I don't fit in with 'normal' people because I don't have a job or a life. And I don't fit in here either because I don't have a diagnosis any more. I feel like whenever I post, people are thinking that I shouldn't be here complaining about my stuff because, compared with REAL MI, it's nothing. And I feel like my advice is meaningless because I no longer officially have experience of depression or psychosis or anything, and so people will think that I don't really know what I'm talking about. We don't have the MI experience in common any more, so I feel like the kid at the park that's just loitering about watching because no one else wants to play with them.

And I'm sad because I have no one IRL to talk to, and no one who will tell me that I'm not faking, that they believe me. I told my friend that they thought I was faking and she ignored me, just saying "I told you so!" because there was no borderline diagnosis like I suspected. It really hurts that she might believe them over me, despite knowing me 9 years. I know that she's a Dr, and Drs tend to side with each other, but she's supposed to be my best friend!

And I hate the infighting here lately! This forum was always safe before, and managed to avoid the bickering of the other forums I've been in on PC. But the fighting just makes me feel like this place is not safe and that you guys don't want me here because there's nothing wrong with me and I'm just cheapening your real experiences by pretending that I experience it too...IDK

*Willow*