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Altered Moment
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Member Since Feb 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,481
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PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 15, 2014 at 10:56 AM
 
I was a very heavy drinker and drug user for 17 years. I tried countless times to quit under my own will power. Failed miserably each time. I really sincerely wanted to quit. I didn't want what it was doing to me and my life. The longest I ever made it was six months but I was smoking pot heavily to get through it.

One day after getting fired from two jobs due to my using and in a severe depression, I decided that I just couldn't do this alone. Alcohol was my best friend and the scariest thought I ever had was to think about going without it my whole life. All my self worth was tied up in my career. So I had hit my bottom.

My wife and family had been urging me for along time to get help. But at this moment the decision to get help came from deep inside me. I wasn't going to do it to get anyone off my back. I knew I was going to die a long horrible death if I didn't.

The moment I made that decision and looked up the phone number for a treatment center a huge psychic shift occurred in me. A spiritual shift in my view. I went to treatment and was a model patient. I already knew they were going to tell me to got to AA and I wanted to go. They had AA and NA and CA and even MA meetings come in from the outside.

When I got out I was gung hoe recovery. I was not able to go back to work for a couple of years after and that is another long story as to why, but I went to three meetings a day for along time. Went to all the step studies, all the big book studies, and all the things you are supposed to do. I took to it like a duck takes to water. I wanted very bad to stay sober and have a better life. Slowly the fog lifted and the more I read and went to meetings the more the book and the steps made sense to me. Slowly more and more was revealed about the absolute wisdom of the program. It was a philosophy I could believe in and it worked. I have rarely rarely ever had the urge or desire to drink or use again ever since I made that decision. So AA was a very positive experience for me. Total true story.

When I say the absolute wisdom of the program of AA I don't mean at all it is the only wisdom out there. I love philosophy and there is tons of wisdom out there. I went to all kinds of outside groups and new age spiritual stuff. I have a lot of respect for the wisdom of AA though. It comes from many years of experience and is highly successful. As the saying goes it works if you work it.

I also suffer from severe depression so I had to seek outside help for that. All the work I have done in AA and working the steps, and applying the steps to my depression didn't put a dent in it. So AA is no cure all. But it can get you sober and keep you sober, that is what it was designed for. It worked for me and I was hard core drinker and user of drugs.

Verdict - Positive

__________________
The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman

Major Depressive Disorder
Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun.
Recovering Alcoholic and Addict
Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide.

Male, 50

Fetzima 80mg
Lamictal 100mg
Remeron 30mg for sleep
Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back
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