Hard to know what "naturally" is anymore. I was reading an article that was talking about how, back in the 70's I think, they took away the concept of people dying from "old age". That use to be listed on people's death certificates before then!

I don't currently want to end my life because I don't see the point We only get to come here first and lots of it is painful, lonely, scary, etc. but it is "experience" and one can't know what will happen "tomorrow" or even in 5 minutes. I haven't died of any of my horrible-feeling experiences. . . yet, so I guess I will keep racking them up. Presumably when I'm 105 (I imagine I'll die in my 80s as that's when most of my grandparents did; my mother was only 40 and my father only 80 but my mother's brother was 96 and my father's brother late-80s and his sister just turned 93 last week) I will have a little wisdom because I will have had a lot of human experiences?

I had an interesting/bad dream last night; my wallet/identification got thrown away in such a way there was no possibility of getting it back. I was at a naval hospital (my father was a naval officer and health care was at navy dispensaries/hospitals growing up) and had a doctor's appointment (with my current doctor :-) but was having a hard time even getting information to them that I could not come. I kept trying to cope with the idea there was no driver's license, health care cards, credit cards, money, etc. and figure out what to do but kept failing. In the hospital there were lines like at public bureaucratic places to get to a clerk (kind of like at a hospital's emergency room sometimes I guess) and I had no identification to prove I should be there but finally I found a woman who called up to the doctor's office and they were sorry for me and send down pictures (of the doctor!) and parts of my file. I woke wondering how I'd get my meds as I see the doctor every three months for checkup/regular medications, etc.

I don't know what I got from that My feelings were those of disbelief and trying to cope and hesitance, kind of a going-in-circles sort of suspension/spinning wheels feeling.