My mom always takes a serious tone of voice and asks me if i'n taking my meds and talking to my doctor. I'm 37 years old, so it's infuriating. Plus, when i was a kid and teen she was never around or clues in to what was happening with me, and she did nothing to protect me from dangerous situations and people. So when i told her about my diagnosis at 34 and she started acting this way it was too late for her to start acting like a mother. I hate being treated like i'm fragile and mentally ill, while simultaneously having to act like i'm happy all the time because if i show her any signs of depression she starts crying and blaming herself. My sister and brother don't want to hear about it, and they act like the stuff i've done during episodes is a problem with my character and irresponsiblity. My dad is too self absorbed and depressed to notice how i'm doing, so i just end up taking care of him. I'm divorced and i don't have a family of my own. So i just try to keep it too myself around family, and i try to show that i am stable and perfect, and that i don't need anything from anyone, which isn't really true, but i have no one to rely on in my family.

I am lucky to have a few close friends who are supportive and don't treat me like there is something wrong with me, or expect me to be perfect all the time. So i feel lucky and grateful for that. But i do wish i had that from family. I feel like i don't really fit in with my family, and it's been that way since i was around 14.

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