You say that everyone has their flaws and bad things they do and keep in secret and no one's is worse than anyone elses.

Then why will you never look at me the same way again and stare at me with this expression of pity with the look that says you're a freak and need to be fixed.

Sure, claim this is a safe zone and that secrets can be shared. I know that. I even know you won't tell anyone it's me who does "this thing". But your eyes say it everytime.

You don't understand and because of that it fits into this category of weird. So you stare at me like I'm weird cause what I did doesn't make sense to you.

Sure, you want to help. Then look at me the way you used to. Look at me like I'm a normal human being. Not some low life. Don't give me reason to fear telling others who might actually be able to help me. DOn't give me more reason to hide this or reason to feel more shame.

I want to open up. I want to warn others of the danger they get themselves into when they start SI. I want to let them know that it will get worse and how hard it is to quit. I want to warn others. Don't make me scared to do so.

I'm tired of being scared. I had quit being scared. Why did you have to bring the fear back.