Hi Jefftele. I'm glad you've come to a realization that may be helpful for you.

Unlike you, I have very loving and supportive parents. I was lucky enough to be brought up in a home full of love. My parents are still very strong, positive influences in my life and I can always depend on them. I am also blessed with good friends (some of whom I've known since I was 4 years old) who care deeply about me and are positive forces in my life.

I think part of my depression is due to genetics. My father has a long history of depressive episodes and so do many of my relatives on his side of the family. Most of his uncles self-medicate by being drunk all the time. His youngest brother committed suicide this summer.

So, I think I was born with a predisposition to depression. I'm trying to find better coping skills and trying to learn how to identify and express my feelings (rather than being so controlled all the time) in hopes that that will lead to less depression in my life.