I think seroquel might be the way to go, because it sounds like you are getting paranoid and it's better to catch it before it turns into full blown psychosis. I know take your meds is not what you want to hear, but sometimes that's really the best option.

Sometimes it feels to me like meds change my personality and make me generally more compliant with society, which i don't like at all. But when i try to stop my AP i go immediately into depression. I hate it. It sounds like a similar thing is happening to you. Meds can suck, but taking them is better than the alternative if stopping them causes depression and paranoia. I don't think a depressed version of yourself is any more authentic than a medicated version of yourself, but that's easy for me to say to you and harder to accept when i apply it to myself.

Anyways, it sounds like things are bad and getting worse, so my advice is take your seroquel for now, and when you can see your pdoc ask about less sedating options. Sometimes taking it earlier or having coffee in the morning can help.




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