There was a man who died (I don't know or remember who he is and, I hope I don't sound rude, but I don't really care) and this lady along with a group of other friends, including us, decided to finish the Quran in chapters for him, and each friend get 1-2 chapters (length about 40-50 pages). My mom and I were assigned to read 2 chapters.

I honestly have no idea why I was feeling like this, but my mood tends to swing a lot. I am generous and caring for others, familiars or strangers, but I just didn't feel like reading for this man. I half-willingly read anyway for him because of my spiritual beliefs: I like to appreciate the spirits in the afterlife.

But to the main point, I just came back from school today, and my mom starts nagging me to read some pages. I tell her, "Alright, I'll do it in the middle of homework." Then, nag after nag after nag, and it drives me to the point to ripping my ears off! Here comes the "greatest" part of all: I scoff her off, saying that I am going to read it! I f***ing will! I didn't curse, that was just emphasis.

I was just eating rice, chicken, and two slices of eggplant (and I was reading scary stories on my Kindle) when my mom asked me if I got the eggplants. When I didn't reply, that somehow enraged her and screamed at me. She lifted the edge of the glass table and half of the disk smashed into pieces, cutting my middle finger. I just stared back her emotionless as she commanded me to read the chapter. I only ate one bite of my lunch, and she threw it away.

I'm here now, sobbing every now and then, but I tell myself, "I'm not reading for my "mother", I'm blessing the man. I'm not reading for my "mother", I'm blessing the man..." I'm thinking of going to my friend's house to spend the afternoon instead of taking my bus to my house. I can't handle this anymore, this was the last straw... for now. This will never end...

My mother doesn't have any mental issues or diseases, but... I don't know how to describe her, but she's not very informative on sensible parenting. Most of the time I get, but when things like this happen, I don't feel like living anymore... so this was my rant for today...

UPDATE: Right now, I was just holding it my head because the emotions were just too much, and then the lights from the fan flickered on. The door was still closed, so if there was some entity was around, I'd thank them later ^^ Just a spark of happiness...