I just need to vent and possibly some words of advice or support from anyone willing to listen...

How can I stop worrying about the future? And how do you know when the worrying is warranted or irrational? I have been married for 2 years, have had our ups and downs, own a home, are both 27, make a modest living, have great friends and families. But I still sometimes get totally overwhelmed with "what ifs". I've brought this up before but let me go into a little bit of specifics.

I am afraid to have children- I worry that I/we would "mess them up" somehow. We talk about having a baby in a couple of years but are both unsure of whether we'd want one or two. So many people have told me "You CAN'T just have one!". And I work full time and love my job and would not want to be stay-at-home mom. On that topic, I've been told, "Kids who have a parent at home do better". On that note, if one of us were to stay at home, it would be my husband who would love to do that.. Of course many have strong feelings about that as well. Also, he is a musician (in his spare time) and my parents have often implied that once kids come into the picture "It is time to grow up and he'll need to focus on that". I'm not saying that with a baby at home, he'd be gone all the time, but I also don't like the idea of either of us giving up things that make us who we are in exchange for a family- can't there be both??

I feel that we are very unique individuals and a unique couple and will have our own way of doing things. I guess it is just difficult for me because what others have to say really sticks in my head and replays over and over again!

It is difficult because my husband doesn't understand why I worry to this extent. He really feels that things will just work out, we will be great parents, but that we (meaning both us as a couple and human beings in general) cannot plan out our lives. But for me, the not knowing, not being able to plan and control, is what really freaks me out.

Please help. I don't want my fears to stop me from getting excited about the future.