Thanks for replies!

Allme,

Have you done this with everyone and anyone? Or only certain people? Any time of day specific? If so, are there any logical connections you may be able to associate to it all?

And that goes for anyone, does anyone notice any correlations with their anxiety? When it happens, to whom it pertains to? Anything?

I only ask because I'm currently thinking about this in my own life. Just tonight I did it again - I was texting a girl who I kind of like - and she didn't reply. I thought I would stumble onto these forums before replying again - but unfortunately my awareness went straight out the window - and before I knew it - I sent two more lengthy texts... It's sad. It's been an hour and she hasn't replied yet - either she went to sleep or I just pushed someone away again...

I find that I do this almost always at night, between 6 PM and 10 PM. I suppose because I like to relax at that time of day, after work and what not - I expect that other people follow the same daily routine. In my mind they can reply to my text immediately, because I can too. But really, that's a fallacy because who knows - who does what - and when. My expectations are extremely high - therefore, there's no wonder I am met with complete dissatisfaction when they cannot meet my expectations for immediacy. I also realize that I am idling at that time of day. I don't have anything on my mind, I am literally sitting around and without purpose. At those times I find that the voices in my head can be most ambitious and can wreak havoc on what could otherwise be - a very low key, relaxing evening... Before I know it - I'm bombarded with thoughts of abandonment and then I'm stressed out.

Maybe this is a sign for me, and maybe for others as well - that staying busy can help keep the mind preoccupied and prevent it from being bombarded with anxieties. It's obviously not a cure, but it could be a step in distracting oneself from leaning in the direction of a negative outcome - and more to follow...

I don't like giving myself an excuse to harass someone with text messages, but for me - (and I'm sure for all of you as well) - it is an instinctual / primal urge that motivates me to send more text messages... Like eating or sleeping, or fight or flight.

It's strange. Maybe for us Borderline's: something as specific and singular as abandonment - becomes an instinctual or primal mechanism to us... Like it's been added to a checklist with hunger and sexuality.

thanks,
HD7970ghz