Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
It sounds like you are really down and don't have much hope of life being better. It must be hard to feel that discouraged. It's probably been going on for a long time. I wonder if you sometimes think of just dropping out of school. Or maybe the academic work is interesting enough to you to keep you aiming at the goal of your next degree. Be nice if you could find some joy in life, but maybe you are used to living with out that.
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No matter how many different people I met and different things I've tried, nothing has worked. I'm lonelier than ever. So, honestly, wouldn't it be natural for me to be discouraged? And yes, it's been going on my whole life. Every time there's a new opportunity, I think that maybe this is it…this is the piece that will slowly start putting the pieces in place. But it never happens.
I wouldn't drop out of school (I'm actually taking a year break anyway) because it's the only thing that gives my life meaning. So that's why it hurts personally when someone merely suggests that degrees are meaningless because that's the same as saying I'm meaningless. I know I haven't felt more worthless than I have my year off of school. I thought that I didn't need to go back, that I could find something fulfilling and worth doing for a living with just a Master's, but unfortunately, no.
School is my only joy…for so long, it was the only way I would ever be around people anyway. I always feel the most suicidal when I'm about to graduate. And since the next degree IS the final degree, I feel like I have 3 years to live and then what? Work at McDonald's until I get brave enough to end it?