You know how there was that thread where people were posting whether their therapist had ever hugged them before? I was one of the people who had had no physical contact with her T, although we are very close.

Well, that changed today. On the way out of my therapy session, I paused right next to where he was standing to exchange a few more words. Then as I turned to go, he said "I'm proud of you--hang in there" and gave me a pat on the back and a kind of sideways squeeze with his arm around my shoulder. The warmth and support I always feel from him was given this physical expression. It was appropriate and welcome (understatement). Really gave me a boost. By all appearances, I handled it fine, but inside I was kind of doing this:

I feel like my T is really taking care of me. I feel really safe with him. We've had a couple of hard sessions recently where he was really pushing me and saying things I didn't necessarily want to hear (but that served an essential purpose). He asked immediately at the beginning of the session today how I was doing with that. I appreciate his checking on me. I am pretty strong, so I've been handling it OK and let him know that.

The other thing to mention is that I had a pinksoil moment in therapy today. I tried to tell T that I would like to see him twice a week instead of only once. I started by saying I have so much to say to you. He responded by saying well, tell me, and then waited expectantly. I said I just have so much stuff to get through and it's hard to fit it all in. He said, I'm all ears. Grrrrrr. That was as direct as I could be. Don't these T's know how to take hints? pinksoil, I was thinking of you when this happened, remembering how you held up your journal and hid behind it. I'm afraid I was even less direct than you.