Hallucinations are freaky. Mine manifests as one being, who's been around most of my life. He has a distinct personality and is sadistic and dominating. He gives me messages through the radio. He messes with my tarot cards. He shows up just behind me and a little to the right. Sometimes I see him, but more often I feel him. Watching. Judging. Commanding. I hate it. I know he's not real, but sometimes I forget. It's easy to believe that he is a spiritual entity that is haunting me, and will steal my soul when I die. When I remember, he's merely bothersome and a little upsetting. When I forget, he is terrifying.

Anyway, I came on here to write that I've just been put on Risperdal in addition to my Zyprexa, and am on two different anti-depressants, besides. It just hit me all over again that this disease is life long. My shadowy stalker is not going to magically disappear. I'll have good times, but eventually it will come back and it will be time again to adjust medications. I feel... tired.

How do you deal?