If yr husband met you when you were in the hospital then he should know that yr moods can fluctuate...I mean not understanding yr depression only makes things worse for you. I don't think he can expect you to be someone yr not. He knew from the beginning that you had mi. It makes me sad for you. I don't think you are being irrational either. I think you might be a little paranoid but that comes with the territory. I get the same exact way. We tend to think others are always judging us when they may not be at all. I understand how yr meds make you very tired. It's hard to function like that hun. How long have you been married? People who are closest to you seem to have way too many expectations of you. Like they don't accept the fact that you have bp. Even medicated we can have symptoms. I'm well medicated and have just came out of a 2 month depression. Long enough for me to want to end all the suffering but sane enough to want to stay strong and be present here. Thankfully. You say you have no friends? Is it that you have no friends you can confide in with these issues? We're here for you. We really are. Yr husband is putting you through the ringer by saying things like "did you even care what you did to yr family last year". That is so unfair and hurtful! We don't need to hear that kind of crap. We just need love and understanding. Non judgments. Open minded. Realistic. I feel like you are being bombarded by all corners of yr life. I agree that meds would help you. It's too bad that geodon made you not sleep cause it is my miracle drug. It must be frustrating to be where yr at. I'm so sorry hunny. If you want to pm me please feel free to. I know what it feels like to be controlled. Be easy on yr self. Hugsxxxxx

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