It just occurred to me that I was committed to a locked down psych ward when I was 14. I spent a year of my life inside a hospital, rarely went outside. I've tried to forget that time in my life, but I am seeing a history beginning to appear, a history of mental struggle. Is it normal to go to work at midnight, when no one else is there, because I can't sleep. I get a ton of things accomplished though. My employees don't get there until 6 a.m. and then I end up working a 20 hour day. I know this sounds very crazy, but I was reading about mania and I'm like, "Oh yeah, that is me."

I was also thinking about what the description of mania had to say about risk taking. Now, there are times when I speed, and I'm not talking about your 5 mph over the limit, I'm talking about 90 mph down the road. And here is Missouri the back rural roads around my area aren't great, but I fly down them, like I'm possessed.

I look back over my adolescent years, the things I did that hurt me because I thought I was invincible, the sleep issues I've had since I was around 12, the mood swings over the years, I really have to consider if there is something to this diagnosis now and if I want to go back to a hospital again.