Both my kids are having a hard time in their lives. My 26 year old son drinks too much and has anger issues. He has 2 kids and the mother of the first took him and moved out of state so we never see him. My son has gotten violent with his girlfriend and she got a protective order. My 17 year old daughter (shes bipolar too) is pregnant with her 2nd child. SHe had the first when she was only 14 and Im raising him. I can't help but wonder what they would have been like if I hadn't been crazy most of the time they were growing up. I've only been on meds the last 10 years and my behavior before that was atrocious. I worry that I will make the same mistakes with my grandson I made with my kids. I know I spent a lot of time when my kids were little locked in my bedroom and not willing to deal with them or anyone else. I'm just feeling bad about myself tonight and I can't stop thinking what ifs and I should haves and what can I do now to fix things for my kids. I guess Im just feeling sorry for myself tonight.