unsure, it was difficult for me to accept my schizo dx too. I also deal with paranoia and with people following me, chasing me, watching me...sometimes it seems like everybody might be out to get me. When my brain is acting a little psychotic its difficult for me to keep track of whats real and whats probably not real. Being confused is normal. Its unsettling and scary but you can get better over time with treatment (meds, therapy...etc.) I'm glad you decided to join us here on PC. Welcome!