Thank you. I know I make my husband out to be a bad person but he's not at all. Most of his refusal to understand comes from fear. His dad has BP 1. His dad tried to commit suicide by cop with him in the house when he was 13 - he threatened my husband and the cops with a shotgun. They didn't shoot him because thy knew him from the town emergency squad. Now he is off all medication and completely delusional. For example he thinks he talks to the state governor on the phone weekly and that te governor is goin to change the gun policy just for him. He also thinks the pope invited him to the Vatican for a personal session.

In august I had such a bad manic/mixed episode I could have easily died by my own hand. I hurt myself enough to need stitches in a place that could have been fatal if I kept going. So I understand why he's scared. But I wish he would understand that depression is not the end of the world and sometimes I just need him to tell me it's ok and it'll gt better, not scream at me and threaten to commit me.

I feel different today. Only time will tell what happens. I'm feeling less angry toward him. I'm still confused and still think it might be a trap but also think maybe not, which is an improvement. Thank you all for givin me perspective and letting me know that what I thought was happening may not really be happening. That's what I needed. Thanks all.