dir96,

I can't say I felt strong. I felt an indescribable non-physical pain. I felt lost. Deep down I knew I needed help. Actually, I was afraid when I made those calls to talk to possible Ts. I was afraid when I went to my first appointment. I was afraid this T wasn't going to be able to help me.

What drove me to call was having constant panic attacks. I would run to the handicap stall in the ladies room to try to settle myself. I think I spent more time in the ladies room than I did working.

Even after seeing the T I didn't feel better because in actuality my depression and panic attacks where based on my brain chemistry. I wanted to be strong, I didn't want to admit something was wrong and I truly believed what I wrote at that time, but somewhere inside me I knew differently.

Those first few years so hard, but I am so glad I did because I was suffering. I still have episodic depression and panic, but I have 2 wonderful Ts to help me through.