I suffer from feeling fragmented often too. What I've wanted to know for a long time, and I haven't found any definite answers, even from professionals) is. . .
When would this type of dissociation constitute "Co-Conscious DID?"
My t pounds coping skills into my head. I fully understand the need for them, and when I am in my normal, nondissociative state, I have no trouble practicing them. However, when I get triggered and dissociate, my normal way of thinking is just not present. I revert into feeling like a scared helpless child who is in danger. Then I seem truly unable to use the coping skills I have been taught. Even after all these years with my t, I am not sure she understands that this inability isn't because I am resisting learning coping skills, or putting them into practice. The problem is that I don't feel like "myself" when I dissociate. . .and so I can't think like a normal logical adult woudl think. It doesn't matter how many times my t goes over and over the skills with me. It doesn't get absorbed into that part of me that is dissociative and holds my traumas. I don't know how to fix that, and it makes me wonder more and more if I might be one of the few people who have co-conscious DID. But because I don't officially "lose time" (I know when I dissociate and don't feel like myself - but can't seem to stop it), my t just assumes it's not DID.
|