My son's pdoc was honest when she told us genetically and only genetically it is our fault. Im sure my mom ( possibly my dad) is dx'd. The only thing I wished as a kid is to understand. Even just im really sad today. I'm angry but not at you. All anyone can as is for your best and it sounds like you gave what you could at the time. They're adults now they and you can not blame there mistakes on you be kinder to yourself. The more you spend going what did I do wrong the less time and patents you have for your grandson.