((((katheryn))))

It is a real trial for me when my 9 year old daughter gets really angry at me and yells, "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" I get very upset but I try to remain calm and just say "I know and that's okay," or " I think what you mean is you are really angry with me right now." When I was a child, my parents reaction to one of my siblings or I being angry, was to become enraged at us. Or if we cried to say something like "I'll give you something to cry about!" Now, based on that history, I have to resist the very strong impulse to express anger back at my daughter or to try and joke her out of being upset. I am hoping she will learn that her emotions are okay--which I did not.
Usually when I handle it well, her emotions seem to blow over--meanwhile while I am happy about this, very often I am still strongly overwrought myself--again I attribute this to my unhealthy childhood experience with emotions. Still, I am hoping I am doing something right that will help her cope better with her emotions than I learned. It is a real struggle though.

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