I've been learning about C-PSTD, and Counter-dependence recently, and only I realise just how crippling numb, and how seriously I've been pushing everyone away, and holding in my emotions, only sharing thoughts of feeling. So I share this as part of that.

I haven't spoke for a few months with my LDG, we agreed we needed to take some time for ourselves, because there was a lot of growth, and sharing, a lot of emotion and stress.

I was suppose to wait til June, but I couldn't take it any more, I missed her so much, and I became increasingly worried, seeing and reading BPD posts.

Well, I just found out, that She actually isn't BPD after all, and that She has developed more confidence and better sense of self, and no longer an obsessive love.

This is a HUGE relief for me, because at the beginning and middle of the relationship, I was the one holding it up, being there for her, sharing info and things I knew.
It eventually drained me and destroyed me. Worrying about her so much.

This has taken a lot of pressure off me, and now I can focus more on myself and working through things.