Felt bloody awkward.

Building up to today I was feeling frustrated, resentful of optimistic opinions that were overriding my concerns (saw him 3 weeks back), and convinced that it would be just a futile circle jerk of him not doing anything while I feel that things are getting worse; like what happened in my last appointment.

Did what I could to empty my mind before I went in... didn't want anxiety to build up leading to verbal diarrhoea... and tried to lay it out for him as clearly as possible.

Trying currently to consolidate what was said as situations like that make me very uncomfortable and it passes in a blur.

Essentially, he was concerned that things were starting to get worse again... he didn't think I should be concerned about the brain numbness/deadness at the moment; I relayed what my T had said... but did so in a factual diplomatic way so as not to give the impression that I was putting my hopes and dreams in her opinion (I don't, but I'm all to aware of 'impressions' and I didn't want to cloud the overall situation) and was opening it up for him to weigh up. He scoffed a little bit and didn't put much weight into it, saying that there are nerves attached from the base of the skull to the back and for now I shouldn't worry about it.

Fair enough... put a line through that for now in my mind... but will pay note to it continuing and mention it again if it keeps happening or gets worse.

Told him about the fluctuations between numbness and anxiety to massive waves of sadness and I think this was more of an area he could understand and deal with.

He spoke about my medication and was curious (talking openly I guess to gauge my reaction) as to reduce or increase the dosage of my medication. Can't exactly pin point what I said at this point as I was getting tired fast (for an appointment that only lasted about 10min :blink: ) but he decided that we would try increasing the dosage from 30mg (on Mirtazapine) to 45mg. Warned me that it would take 4-6 weeks to see any marked changes but it would be a test phase to identify if that will make any odds to what's going on.

Wants me to see him again in 2 weeks.