About, oh, 3 years ago or so, I stumbled onto the transgender community on YouTube. More specifically, I found the small community of transsexual individuals who were documenting their transitions on YouTube. This was amazing. I had struggled with Gender Identity Disorder all of my life. I didn't know what it was, I had no vocabulary to describe it, & no one I could talk to about it. So I just kept it a secret and felt dirty and perverted for having it. Suddenly finding a whole bunch of individuals who had the same condition & who were actually doing something about it was, to say the least, miraculous!

I gradually subscribed to nearly every trans channel I could find on YouTube. And gradually I came to know several of these YouTubers fairly well. It occurred to me at one point: what if one of these individuals were to say to me: "come and stay with me and I'll teach you what you need to know to transition." The yellow brick road to transition. Would I have gone? I don't think I would have. But the allure of such a proposal would have been so strong that I wonder if I could have resisted. I've never had any intention of transitioning. I've lived many years as a male & have never given any serious thought to doing anything else. But, oh, the allure... I just don't know if I could have resisted...

Fortunately, no proposal of this type was ever presented. So I never had to choose. And, over time, I've lost contact with most of the trans YouTubers I came to know. But I still daydream, occasionally, about what it might have been like. If you're trans, you're trans for life. It does not go away...