What end result do you want to get from telling your daughter about your hurt feelings and how likely are you to get that? Is there any other way to get a similar result or sense of closure?

It sounds like she is really excited about the visit, and that is a great thing! Maybe this will be the start of the relationship you want to have with her? Your husband offering to help if things turn strange is also wonderful. I hope you can set the hurt aside for a bit while she is there and that everything goes well!