I'm not going to lie. My mother is mentally ill (undiagnosed but I suspect bipolar) and it was very hard growing up. It definitely contributed to my problems as a teenager. I had to unlearn a lot of dysfunctional behavior that I developed because of her. I was angry with her for a long time because she isolated herself from us and didn't do simple things like clean the house or cook dinner (I did). So your behavior will absolutely influence your children. They may be angry with you for awhile. They may feel abandoned. And that is their right.

However, your son is a grown adult. No matter what happened when he was young it's time to put the past to rest. When I was 19 I went to a trauma program to work through and accept what had happened to me as a child (mom's MI among other things). I took responsibility for myself. I didn't blame her for my own mistakes. I eventually forgave her for verything because she honestly did the best she could within her limitations - though I still get mad at he sometimes for refusing treatment to this day. You cannot feel guilty for things that were already done. You're in treatment now. It was the past. And your son has to figure that out on his own. If he wants to be angry forever that's not your fault. Same for your daughter - she made poor choices and needs to live with them and accept responsibility.

It's one of the main reasons I stay in treatment even though I hate it. I have to tell my son honestly that I did all I could to be the best I could. Yes I go off meds but when I enter an episode that affects my care of him I go crawling back.

As for bipolar you can't control that so please don't feel guilty.