I, too, got sober in AA, but that was only after I put the work into it. But I have seen people run out of meetings, and it sickens me.

The main group in my small town used to have a lot of people who also went to NA and other meetings. Most if them would call themselves alcoholics at the AA meetings and addicts at the NA meetings-- neither was a lie because they had problems with both drugs and alcohol. When some of them would introduce themselves, they'd say "I'm an alcoholic and an addict." There was a core group of oldtimers who always referred to them as "and-a's" and said if you haven't figured out what you are you aren't being honest with yourself. Something came up in a business meeting about one of the "and-a's" chairing a 'closed' meeting.

We had a speaker meeting and potluck dinner the last Sunday of each month.
There were about 50 people there two days before this particular business meeting. The next month there were five.

This was my home group. I watched it disintegrate before my eyes. I was DCM at the time, so I was heavily involved in dealing with the fallout. Those who left the first meeting began starting their own groups; other groups in the district began taking sides, and some of them split into two or more groups; some of the new groups lasted; some eventually merged; most groups just disappeared along with the people in them. Some people drank or used again. Some of them haven't made it back to the rooms yet. Some never will.

To this day, I wonder if things could have gone differently, but I think it was something that was already brewing for a long time. I don't go to meetings regularly anymore. My sponsor died a couple of years ago, and I haven't got a new one. I don't read the big book much. I do still practice the principles of the program, and I do still reach out to other alcoholics, speak at treatment centers, and other 'twelfth step' work. And I have a great respect for the Traditions AA and the Statement of Responsibility.

There is an entire chapter in the big book titled Problems Other Than Alcohol. Bill Wilson worked tirelessly with the medical and psychology communities. NA branched off from AA; it did not copy or hijack the program. There are AA purists who tend to forget those things, who forget that there is no one right way to work the program, and who tend to forget that AA did not invent sobriety.

There are also too many people in the rooms who aren't there to get sober, and others who may be sober, but still act like they're in a bar. Some go for the free coffee. Some treat it like a social club. Some treat it like a singles' mixer.

To those who have had bad experiences with AA meetings, I'm sorry that happened. That's not AA. I hope if you decide to come back you find a meeting where you can feel comfortable. But most of all, I hope you realize that-- whether it's through AA, treatment, counseling, or religion-- you can get and stay sober in spite of a crotchety oldtimer or two, in spite of anyone, even in spite of yourself.