yes, i was in much the same situation, when i had a toxic reaction to multiple psych meds, and acquired severe brain damage. i had always relied upon my excellent brain to get by in the world, and when that was gone i had nothing. less than nothing, because i had never known anything else. it took me several years to understand that what was gone was gone, and begin to grieve. it took several more years to get past the worst of the grief, too. and then several more before i began to live a new life... a lot of time given to shock and lack of understanding.

any loss can be a terrible thing, but the loss of something so profound as feeling, or thinking, or having, or doing, as before, doesn't just go away. there is no distancing from it. here we are, every time we check, the past is remembered, and compared to the present, and there is grief...

i hope you find a grief counselor, and not just one who can't face such loss her/himself~! and i wish you well in adjusting to your present reality, and i hope for your recovery~
best wishes~
Gus