you know what.....i really dont jnow why i bother.....

my mum called yesterday. i haven't been diagnosed with anything yet othr than depresssion, we got onto the subject of ptsd. asked me ehy i could possibly have it if at all.

still in denial about abuse....she thought i was going to pdoc about my reltionship with tony or just depression.....

quote mum'oh i thought you would be over all that now'unquote

i say mum, no one gets over deep emotional trauma easily.

'oh. i thought those 3 therapy sessions we had togehter soughted all that'

omigod is it me? she let someone she was having an affair with be alone withme knowing he was a paedophile - hello -

then didn't believe me when i told her after 7 years of it as mericans would say - go figure -

she hasn't called since. what if she took pills like before or drank herself to death. i daren't call her.

she wants to chat about this again. it will push her over the edge i know it will. do i keep quiet or do i tell her howmuch she has nade me feel rejected, unloved, not trusting, insecure, have no self-esteem etc etc etc......
she tries so hard these days - can't deal with it.

sorry to rant again, jinny xx