Here on this forum you likely will find support - so keep posting. Many people here will listen to you, and try to offer some words of encouragement. You are not alone. People on this forum try to be helpful and respectful. Sounds like you are feeling low, so recognize this, and understand that this can improve. It is important that you make sure that you eat properly (healthy and nutritious food), and that you get adequate sleep. Plan to eat properly. Perhaps it would be helpful for you to go to a doctor or professional about the sleep if this doesn't improve right away. I do sincerely hope that you feel better soon. And - please understand that it does hurt when you've lost someone who you love, as you feel a void. Please don't try suicide, because you have other options.