guilt and denial i spose. ashamed. still doesn't know half of what happened though, knows enough. wish i could hate her or cut her out of my life. but i cant and she's my mum at the end of the day.

always been very selfish person. she drinks her way to oblivion every night. if i go to her house, she will forget everything the next day anyway. i f i talk to her sober, she will emotionally abuse methe way she always has and shift the blame onto me somehow

thnx caj xx