Now experiencing my third divorce at age 62 I look back and wonder if I would have been better off avoiding serious relationships all together.

I have been through the grief of breakups and my ex's have suffered as well.

It is a sad hopeless guilt ridden suffering that overwhelms me in waves like tsunamis hitting me unexpectedly.

I just read that 90% of marriages where one person has bipolar disorder end in divorce.

If I had known this before my first marriage i wonder

If I had known this earlier in my life I wonder if I really would have gotten married.

Right now I think I would have avoided serious relationships totally but then again maybe love is stronger than this illness...at least for a while.

Better to have loved and lost?

But I know I have hurt so many people for no reason.

Maybe I should have stayed alone to protect the one I was falling in love with.

Just do not know.