Hi AK, I know the struggle of finding a reason to live. I don't know if this will help or not, but I'm a guy, nearly 42, and the closest I've been to sex is third base I tried to steal home a couple times, but was tagged out at the plate. That was over 20 years ago. I haven't even made it to the field since then. Sorry a little baseball humor I know what it's like to see these public displays of affection. Some people make it look so easy like finding a relationship is like going to the store for a gallon of milk. I don't know how many times I've imagined myself asking one of these couples "How can I have what you have?" And I imagine their reply, "Oh, wouldn't that be nice for you, but you see, this is not for you honey. You're a misfit, you see? It would be best if you'd just stop trying." I have a lot of these imaginary conversations in my head. It's part of being "mental" I guess, lol! I am unemployed right now after having left a job of 7 1/2 years. Now I don't know what to do with myself. I used to just work, play World of Warcraft, and drink lots of beer, but I can't do that anymore. Well, I still play the game, but it's not the same. Anyways, just letting you know you're not alone. I know it sounds cliche, but please hang in there P.S. check out my introductory post if you wanna know a little more about me.