Hi p1994, I suppose making a promise like that can be a lot easier to make than to keep. Often turning away from SI needs to be because YOU want to instead of doing it for someone else, and even then it can be a lot easier said than done.
But do you think if you talked to the person/people you made the promise to about the way you've been feeling they may understand?? Afterall you are going through a lot right now.
And back to the SI, have you got a action plan of things to do (even a list to work down) if you feel the need to SI? Things you're going to do/try before you SI to try and avoid actually getting to that point?
And........back to your first comment about feeling no-one gives a damn about you. Perhaps that's your depression talking? It can block you from seeing anything remotely positive going on around/for you and leave you seeing nothing but negative. It can also push people so far away from you. So the sooner you can get some help with it the better, right?
But, if nothing else for now believe me when I say: I give a damn about you.
So if you want to talk more, right here for you.
Alison