One of the reasons I isolate is that I feel so guilty about the good things I have, clean water, sanitation, plentiful food, free health care, free education, etc. These are things that I just take for granted, things that many people in the world don't have the strength to even dream of, such is their fight for survival. I believe my ingratitude makes me a bad person and I don't deserve to be part of the world. I am much harder on myself than all the people who tell me "to pull myself together".

When at my lowest point for a long time, my doc was doing his stuff to try and keep me motivated and engaging just a little with the world. At one point I said to my doc "You shouldn't have to waste your time with me, I don't have problems. I have a safe life."

My doc replied "You mean you're not cold, starving, afraid of the soldiers coming to your house, that sort of thing?"

That was exactly what I meant, my doc then said "If you swapped your life with theirs, after a week they'd be begging for their old life back, I promise you that".

My doc's comment was an eye-opener for me, I'd never once considered that anyone would acknowledge my depression as a "real problem". In a way the tone could be percieved as negative, but the profound insight it revealed made it hugely empowering. Finally, having someone recognise just how hard the struggle is gave me enough motivation to stay engaged with the world.

I think everyone I've "met" on PC knows what they should do to manage their illness, that after all is one of the reasons we are here. We certainly all do our best to support and motivate each other even when we are incapable of caring for ourselves. Sometimes being with people who are depressed themselves is better therapy than surrounding ourselves with "happy people".