Thanks folks for the feedback.

I dwell on the virginity deal because no woman wants a virgin my age. I get really pissed off when someone patronizingly tells me that they respect it. Child please. Just be blunt and drop an f-bomb on me (the homophobic f-bomb). I may hate it but I will at least respect your honesty. I need sex to find love. Backwards, yes; illogical, oh yes. But it's the perception (which is reality) of someone like me. Plus it's another pleasure everyone BUT ME enjoys.

I find no activity to enjoy. If the weather is nice, I go on my balcony and watch TV or bury my head in my iPad. Otherwise, I wish I could just sleep the whole weekend. PDA's are all around me and out of control. I can't take any more My body is constantly sore, and not just from being on my feet at work. I have no energy at all. Everything is closing in on me and I see no way out other than an angel inviting me into bed with her.

I'm not suicidal. But if someone needed to blow my head off because I was keeping them from driving 120 MPH, I wouldn't care. I just don't care about anything except my work (because I need the money). I really can't talk to my family about it, and my friends are showing off their relationships which is driving me to break.