I keep wanting to reconnect with my childhood. I keep playing with thoughts I don't understand and feeling as if there is something wrong with me. I don't have any psychological reasons what went through my brain on the last day of January when I called 9-1-1. I was feeling a bit suicidal at the time, and I was also thinking I done something bad in the past when I shouldn't have been guilty on that matter. I'm not sure if I just keep imagining something horrible happened to me or if it really did happen, but maybe once I just forget about it and move on in my life, these thoughts would go away.