In my experience, writing that stuff down or trying to say it out loud makes it real and that is where my resistence comes from because that means then I have to deal with it and I've been working all these years to not deal with it.

It's hard to get some of that stuff out there. A lot of self talk and nurturing from the T finally allows some of that stuff to be addressed. It takes time so please try and be patient with yourself.

Journaling: I journal lots because that's how I get stuff out. But it's private journaling, not on line or anywhere else. I do let T read some of it but he always asks me where he should start and where to end. Unless he's concerned for my safety, then he reads more.

Just remember to be patient with yourself and what happened isn't your fault. It may "feel" like it is, but it wasn't.

Songbird