on comparing themselves, other people have told me horrible stories of other parents doing "worse" to their kids and telling me 'see, your parents aren't that bad they "mistreated you" but not do xyz.' does it make it a difference? bad is bad, worse is worse, mistreatment is mistreatment, abuse is abuse! when are there varying degrees of who had it bad or not? is there a point scale? i told this to ex therapist i said let's compare your life to mine and see who wins!

it's so stupid! i agree a non abusive person wouldn't compare themselves like that which i told a lot of people that and all of that went over their heads i said omg! too much dogma out there...