Quote:
Originally Posted by hvert
I find that I have friends that I like to see in certain contexts but not in others. For instance, I might want to go hiking with a friend or to an art exhibit, but our coffee dates bore me to death. When my friend invites me out for coffee, I can suggest that we go for a walk instead... but if she says no, then what? I can't say I'm busy because I already said I was free for a walk.
I am having trouble navigating this. I suggested getting together for a hike sometime soon and she responded that she could meet for coffee next week. I am not sure how normal people deal with these situations. I am pretty sure they don't overthink them the way I do!
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Completely understand...and I get mad at myself for doing something with someone I did not want to do in the 1st place...why would I pretend to enjoy? Example - I do not like shopping - with anyone (by myself - OK). Now, they ask to be kind - and it's thanks for including me but I do not care to go - have fun. Be honest - "as for the walk" - I really wanted to go with just you and me...I'll catch you next time - then do not get mad about it. If they continue not to value time with just you...you figure out how you want to handle that friend.
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“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany
“Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge
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