(((Newfie girl)))),

Your post above? You need to talk to your therapist about how you are feeling. Leaving your job and all of this change, including what you said about the administration at work, is all playing into the unresolved about what happened to you in the past that you have not really "grieved" and healed from.

I know what you are feeling, and the gravity of what you are saying and I understand you are overwhelmed right now. This is something you need to work through, and now that you are not in a work situation that has been triggering you, and even giving you negative messages, you can now focus on what is needed "yourself".

It sounds to me that you are beginning to recognize your victim mentality. You developed your own coping methods that you just didn't see before like you are seeing right now.

What you are talking about right now "the symptoms" and emotional state you are in? You are going to work your way past this. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you will get past this. I can tell by what you are saying above you are experiencing a PTSD cycle. This is when you need to rest, slow down, and be patient with it. This cycle will pass. I have had these too, said similar things, but I noticed now that it is a cycle and a cycle can last a day to a few days, but you can come out of this, and do better.

You need to be patient with working through all this right now and I think that now that you are away from that work environment, you can now do what you need to do so you can finally heal. Just because you have these symptoms doesn't mean you will always have them, you can actually learn to work through them and finally get to a point where instead of you feeling so emotional like this, what does take place is you just have a memory that grows weaker and weaker at producing these emotional cycles.

(((Supportive Caring Hugs)))
OE