mdoleman hello, and welcome....I am so terribly sorry for what has happened to both you and your wife, and for the precarious future you probably feel she has, as well as the guilt you obviously feel. Please know, it's not your fault and you aren't to blame for her illness. I'm not sure if you will be able to, but maintaining a friendship with her later may help both of you move on, without losing the wonderful memories you made together.

Right now tho, I think you need to think of your own emotional well being and while divorce has become an obvious necessity, I also think you should seek out a therapist to help you thru this very rough patch. You are probably suffering from PTSD because of the years you've spent trying to support a very sick woman you loved and love so much. A qualified therapist would be able to understand what you are feeling, and will feel as the days turn into months and then years, and they would be most helpful to guide you back to your own personal good mental health.

I don't know if I can be any help to you, but please feel free to message me anytime...I'm most willing and happy to be a listening ear, if nothing else.

Take care...