Calmed the shakes to a manageable point. Still feel like an asshat. I'm such an idiot. Does anyone else indulge in psychological punishment around here? I've never self harmed physically, but this obsessive behavior has to be related in some way. I stick to searching the internet and occasionally making an *** out of myself on the phone, which is bad enough. I'm grateful at least that I'm not picking through trash and hiding in bushes. And to answer a previous post, I think that at this point I'm all sickness everywhere. Everyone I know is alright within a few weeks, it takes me years to let go and not feel hurt and betrayed. That can't be normal.