Ive always had a strange thought process and wonder if anyone else has this as well. For example when i was younger i would always want to ride my dads riding lawn mower cause it looked fun and he said i could. The thing at always stopped me was cause i was afraid the neighbors would think "Hey look they actually got that lazy bastard to do something,,,haha". Or i could stand to lose a few pounds so sometimes i try and as soon as someone notices and says something my first thought is how i can put it back on cause damn i wouldnt want them to think "Holy crap that loser is actually trying to better himself,what a joke". Things like this,now i realize this isnt right but i cant really change how my brain thinks. Does anyone else get these types of feelings? Is this the depression or social anxiety causing this?