Fear of not being unlovable I think plays a part. If we are not unlovable then maybe people will ocme into our lives, but then I have to give of myself also, what If I can't give? what if I don't want to give? I only want to be wrapped up in my own fantasy of aloneness where I cannot fail. Depression is my armour. Its not fear of failure its fear of success that holds me back at times. We'll all just people.