I wrote this post out ready to post in the "Men Focused forum", but i wanted answers from both women and men, so i made a last minute decision to place it here...

I often stop and wonder why it is wrong for men to have feelings and emotions.

i grew up with my dad always making it seem it is not allowed to show emotions. he would drink his emotions away - still does, and he bottles them and expresses them with violent outbursts. i would never want to be like that, and i think that is partly due to why im so open and honest about how i feel. yet it seems harder for men to be accepted for having feelings without being labelled gay for instance.

i know it is becoming increasingly acceptable these days for men to express emotion, but it is still a taboo with many people for men to "feel". if i ever feel down and depressed, my dad will pick up on it and tell me to "snap out of it", "stop being a wimp", and i need to "get a grip of myself". he isnt the only one like that, so many people are, as im sure you will agree. obviously those "words of encouragement" as they are to him make no effect on me, and i just walk away.

both men and women were blessed with the same emotions, the same feelings, so why cant we - as humans - be allowed to comfortably express whats inside without being considered a freak, a wierdo, or gay. im not any of those things...well - i may be a freak and a wierdo lol.

do any of you experience this too, were your parents like that, or are you like that now (im guessing that last question is void otherwise you wouldnt be in a supportive community such as this, but you may still think its a sin to confess feelings and emotions). or to you women reading this: do you have a partner who is consistently hiding their true feelings and finding it more destructive to hold it within?

many men, and even women, consider it a weakness to express emotion, yet i see it as strength. the weakness is holding it in through fear of being "exposed", even "manipulated", and through fear of being considered "cowardly". it seems a macho thing for men to have no emotions, to feel nothing and be this "hard" person. but it is these people that will bend and break easily...so is it safe and healthy in the long run to be that way? i think not.

simon