Well idk what it you're looking for from your post, nobody's going to cheer you on in your persuit of this married man, and members have already given their insight and input regarding your preference for married men.

I will say this though, wanting more from him, will only lead to misery, you think your life is too messed up right now to date, wait till you involve someone else's spouse, kids, and family / friends.

Now that would be a mess.