Hi p1994, it must have taken a lot to start posting on here and to have shared so much. So real respect for that and thank-you!!
Talking about things with people doesn't have to mean you'll be "judged", it should be much more about them wanting to understand/help you/be there for you. And perhaps gradually you'll be able to tell someone else/more people, people who are going to do that for you?
As for not even knowing me, well I guess from some of my replies you're "getting where I'm coming from" in how I see things, hey?
I know I certainly aren't going to get everything right though (I'm sorry) but keep letting me know when that happens, keep hanging with me, and I'll keep hanging with you!! I do really want to be there for you, and thanks for being here with me!!
Alison